And then what happened, Uncle Charlie

I gave up drugs and alcohol many years ago with the help of an AA sponsor, Charlie. Like many, many deeply spiritual men Charlie was loud, crude, and perverse. He delighted in telling rooms full of little gray haired ladies long involved stories about bisexual biker orgies and the many exotic locales his "throbbing blue veiner" had visited.

Colfax avenue is "the ave" in Denver, where the action is. He frequented a little hole in the wall called Kitty's and with a handful of quarters had seen the entirety of a sophisticated little art film called "Barnyard Buddies"
Charlie was giving a very positive review of the buxom farm wench with pigtails and a blue calico apron. His mind drifted and he began to envision a possible sequel.
On her wedding night her husband says, "We are married now, no more secrets, you can tell me anything"
She laboriously lists a string of increasingly painful encounters with ducks and dogs and sheep.
He's channeling her so completely he seems to have been magically transformed into a hysterical fat broad.
He was actually sobbing when he said, " and then ... and then ...I FUCKED A PIG,"
We were all laughing so hard we had tears streaming down our faces as we went "whee, whee, whee"


Text by Snidely, Muse by a righteously sick bastard I have not seen in too long.
He married a hooker turned cop, they were made for each other
Pic by postimage.org